Capture

One of the biggest strongholds in my life are my thoughts. I have stumbled (and still do) countless times. I have thought, tripped and failed, thought tripped and failed and repeat.

This year for 2018 I sought God and asked him what my word was for this year. He said CAPTURE. I knew exactly what was coming next. He wanted me to capture my thoughts and directed me to the scripture below.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

‘For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.’

This was going to be interesting. I was in super bad habits when it came to my thought life. I would have fake arguments in my head, think negative thoughts of myself, people and situations around me. Even daydreaming had a negative impact on my life. The morning after manufacturing a dream about my perfect tale, I would wake up sad and depressed that it wasn’t real, it would spoil my day from the get go. God wanted my attention to be re-directed, he wanted me focused on the right things, dwelling on the things above.

Colossians 3:2 ‘Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.’

I jumped into the challenge but quickly failed. I had to ask God ‘How am I meant to do this!?” He brought me back to the scripture to gain understanding. First we see thoughts described like a fortress, this can be defined as a stronghold. Strongholds are built to withstand attacks, but in this case it is the wrong type of stronghold being built up and when it comes to being attacked from the outside it will take some work to bring it down. Years of unhealthy habits were formed like a stronghold in my mind that when it came to certain ways of thinking it was trapped inside this Unhealthy Thought Fortress and it was not easy for an outsider to influence otherwise.

The verse then goes on to say that we need to destroy every speculation (a theory without firm evidence) and lofty thought (a way of thinking that is higher than everyone else, also known as pride, thinking my way or opinion is higher than others) that is raised up against God.

Every thought that I have which is not in line with what He says about me, says about my brother or sister, about my neighbour or situation has to come crashing down.

I squirmed, I knew it was going to be tough because there was a lot of wrong ways of thinking that needed to be uprooted. Thankfully the God we serve is higher than anything we face and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit I listened out for his voice.

A guide to the destruction of ‘The Unhealthy Thought Fortress’

As I would drift off to sleep, I would not let my mind wander. This was hard. For so many nights previously I would fall asleep thinking of my future, an incident or going over an encounter or making up scenarios. Someone said everytime you say ‘No’ to something, you need to say ‘Yes’ to something else, otherwise that void will be filled with the original ‘No’. The books I read are mostly ones that look into the attributes of God, studies and stories of God's goodness. This meant that each time I’d read before bed I would then ponder on the words of the pages, and think about when I experienced the goodness God. If I didn't have time to read a chapter, I’d read a verse in the Psalms and think on its meaning and break it down until my mind went off to sleep. This also included not looking at my phone or watching any TV before bed (sometimes this doesn’t always happen but I am working on it) What I watch and fill myself with, will eventually come out.

Proverbs 4:23

‘Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life’

Luke 6:45 ‘The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.’ The fortress was beginning to crack.

Living in London I spend a lot of time on public transport. I could be waiting for a delayed train, be on a bus sitting in traffic or walking to my next destination. There is a lot of room for thinking and daydreaming. To help direct my mind I would listen to podcasts instead of secular music. Some of my go-tos are Annie F Downs, Conversations with John & Lisa Bevere, Timothy Keller, The Messenger Podcast, Sons & Daughters.tv and sermons online. I am gradually adding more to my library based on recommendations. Let me know some of your ‘Go-Tos’. This meant my mind was dwelling on the things above and leaving no room for any thought to dwell that was not of Christ to grow. The stronghold was losing control and losing its ground

As I gradually attacked each layer of the ‘Unhealthy Thought Fortress’ it got tougher and tougher. What I expose to the light has an immediate reaction and it can get uncomfortable. My mind would very easily and quickly play running dialogue in my head of scenarios that may have happened in real life but include extensions of a conversation, including deleted scenes and the extended cut. It was like a tornado, once it started I would spiral and find it very difficult to stop. It would physically affect my mood, I would feel angry or deeply hurt or even depressed. Why was I doing this to myself over and over again?

These ‘director edits’ of my thoughts could sneak up on me out of nowhere and I would run with it, but that obviously had to stop. Ways I found catching it were:

~ If the thought involved a friend or a person I would know in a negative way, I would stop and start blessing them. I would pray blessing over their life and that would naturally flow into a prayer that would completely derail the ‘Unhealthy Thought Fortress’ - Tornado level. ~ If it was a thought based on a real scenario that troubled me, instead of igniting the flames I would ask God, ‘Why did I get so upset?’ ‘What was at the heart of this incident that caused me to be so hung up?’, I would ask for forgiveness if there was need for it, and pray ‘Lord, help me resolve this scenario, help me to speak to the person in love and have a conversation’ I would talk it through with a clear mind and with a Holy spirit led reaction. ‘ Speculation Tornado ’ - wiped out

At the base of my stronghold was my future. Deeply buried in my heart and mind, a room filled with never-been-seen-before footage, VHS tapes of long lost dreams, DVD’s of ‘should haves’ hidden in the shelves and soundbites on cassette tapes of narratives in the waiting.

As much as we would love to be in control, we are not. I didn’t choose when I was born, what year or date, who my parents are, what city or country or even what century I was born in. My life is a gift from God. He ordained it from the beginning and it's not my job to dictate the narrative. He has a plan and a purpose for each life and if we let him, he will take us to the highest mountain peaks and carry us through the darkest valleys unscathed. With Jesus by our side we can face everything life throws at us, nothing's too big for him.

When I would hit ‘Play’ on one of my tapes in my library I only caused my heart to sink and ache, I would artificially be happy for a moment but utterly destroyed when the colours began to fade. How did I combat this? Purely God's word.

~ If I dwelt on my future: Jeremiah 29: 11 ‘For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope’ Proverbs 31:25 ‘Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future.’

I would speak this out loud over my life, I mostly did this while walking down the street, I would say it until I believed it, I would say it until I could actually smile and know that my God has not forgotten about me.

~ If I dwelt on my present: Psalm 27:13

‘ I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living’

Psalm 37: 3-6 ‘Trust in the Lord and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your judgment as the noonday.’ Psalm 56:10-13 ‘In God, whose word I praise, In the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? Your vows are binding upon me, O God; I will render thank offerings to You. For You have delivered my soul from death, indeed my feet from stumbling. So that I may walk before God in the light of the living.’

I wouldn’t give up hope, reading these scriptures would stir up faith and renew my mind that God is in this with me.

~ If I dwelt on my past: Galatians 3:13 ‘Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree;

Colossians 3: 10-11 ‘...and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him— a renewal in which there is no distinction between Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and freeman, but Christ is all, and in all.’

Job 22:23 ‘If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored; If you remove unrighteousness far from your tent.’

I am redeemed, I am renewed and I am restored.

This takes work, it takes practise and there will be times of restarting the process. But it is all worth it. My mind feels so much cleaner and less cluttered, I can think clearly, there is room to hear God's voice and I built a ‘Healthy Thought Fortress’ in the process. One that cannot be infiltrated by negative thoughts.

Unhealthy Thought Fortress 0 vs Healthy Thought Fortress 1

Which one is winning in your mind?