Psalm 32

Sometimes I get caught up in the shame and guilt of sin. An evil thought may cross my mind, I may act sharply, make a decision I know is wrong or a multitude of other sins. But what can sometimes be worse than the actual sin is the guilt. It grips, tightens, pulls down and entangles us, it binds us in a web of doubts and lies and is hard to break free from.

This is one of the many reasons why we need a saviour. We can’t save ourselves no matter how hard we try. And believe me I’ve tried. But I am always brought back to the cross. The cross of Jesus Christ were he paid the ultimate price for us. He did what no man could to save people in the hope that they would love him back.

Psalm 32 speaks of what happened to me this one particular day. I was suddenly woken with a terrible dream / image. It was disturbing and twisted. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn’t shake it off, it kept popping back up throughout the day. The more it came up, I was starting to feel the weight of guilt and shame. Was it me who manufactured that thought? Was that really me? Am I that person? Is this a hidden agenda? I had a physical tightness in my chest, it sat heavy.

The next morning when I opened Psalm 32, I was blessed with sweet forgiveness.

‘1 How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered! 2 How blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit! 3 When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. Selah. 5 I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; And You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah. 6 Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found;Surely in a flood of great waters they will not reach him. 7 You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah. 8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you. 9 Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, Whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, Otherwise they will not come near to you. 10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked, But he who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him. 11 Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous ones; And shout for joy, all you who are upright in heart.’

The Psalm begins with a reminder that we are blessed when we are forgiven. David was bound by his sin and wasted away, he felt the weight of his guilt. Only until he brought it to the light of God did he encounter the freedom in Christ. He urges us to pray and seek God while we still can. Find him, seek him out because He has provided for every aspect of life, don't stay bound, don't settle for less. Look to God, look to his word to lead and council us. And above all praise him, thank him.

God gave me the answer to my anguish through his word. I prayed for forgiveness, confessed my sins and God forgave. Not only did the tight, heavy pain lift from my chest, I was left with a knowing that the old ways of me were being chipped away. My true identity in God, that comes with the right way of thinking was being restored. Romans 12:2 ‘And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.’