Worship

I love to sing, especially harmonise, but I am selective of my audience in when I choose to let out a tune. I can be a little self conscious with singing. But I do love to worship and sing in my own space or in the midst of others, it's a joy and privilege to do so.

I remember one particular time that God helped me through a short experience singing on the worship team. It was (and sometimes still can be) an area that I am not totally comfortable with. When I was first asked to sing I knew it was a good thing to do, to move out of my comfort zone but it wasn't going to be easy. I had to move out of my bubble of being at the back of church mixing sound, my area that I've known for years. I was super nervous but with encouragement from different people I was able to do it and it went OKAY.

The second time round, I was not OK at all. As I was singing all I kept thinking was, 'why am I here?' (at the front),' What am I doing?', 'I do not like this!?' All of these thoughts were going on in my head as I was singing, I just wanted to be invisible.

I knew I was struggling and I cried out to God for help and guidance and that's what He gave me.

At that time I had recently been listening to All Sons and Daughters album 'Live' and one song 'Great are You Lord' stood out.

What I took from this song was that my reason and purpose on this earth is to worship and glorify God. My whole being is made to worship Him and thank Him for what he has done for me, the breathe in my lungs is made to glorify Him. It was a good reminder of what worship is and why I was doing it.

The next song that helped me 'Called me Higher'

I really liked the honesty in this song that reveals inner thoughts and truths.. It's a good reminder that even if we think we have taken huge steps in our walk with God, He is still calling us to even higher heights, and deeper deeps. There is so much more we can gleam/soak up/discover/know about God, He never wants us to just settle.

That was a good encouragement to go higher in singing and worshipping in the front of the congregation.

The next song was 'Reason to sing'

God has done incredible things in my life. I was in deep waters, but I never drowned, I was in the flames but didn't burn. He kept me, saved me and has never left my side. I have a reason to sing, I can't thank Him/Praise Him/Appreciate Him enough for all that He has done for me and continues to do daily.. The very fact that He loved us first and sent His song is enough to glorify and praise Him for eternity.

I don't have a reason to not sing, it's practically criminal to keep my mouth shut!

The next time I sang, I took my eyes off myself and my feelings and just kept my focus on Him.This was the first time I felt comfortable to be in the front. It was Easter Sunday, an extra special day to celebrate our Risen Lord.

We aren't all called to sing and lead from the front, there are people that have a special gifting in that area. People who are evident with that gift are some of my own favourite singers from Bethel Music. But it doesn't mean we write ourselves off from not doing something because of a label. I shouldn't stop myself from doing something because ‘I don’t own that particular label’ or if I think ‘that's someone else's role.’

Sometimes I read the scripture ‘ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)) But I still have my own list of ‘can do’s’ and ‘can nots’. I need reminders that God has called me higher and deeper. With Jesus by my side I can go beyond my own abilities and marvel at the work, only through Christ who strengthens me.

I loved that I had that experience on the worship team to reveal to me that there maybe times I am asked to do things for God, that despite my immediate reaction of ‘nope, not me,’ God still waits to hear my second breathe ‘I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.’ (Amplified version of Philippians 4:13) God wants us to experience the fullness of Christ in all areas of life.

We have nothing to lose but everything to gain.